Sophie Grace

It's hard to believe that Ms. Sophie is a week old today! What a week it has been! Last week, I blogged about getting ready for the baby to arrive and here we are a week later...in our home, with our baby, trying to figure all this out. Things did not go as I had anticipated last Wednesday. We checked in to the hospital around 6:30 a.m. We were taken to our room where the whole induction process was started. Silly me, I really thought that things would move pretty quickly. I was already 4 cm dilated. Everything was "favorable." We were ready. So, we waited. And we waited. And we waited.  I had my water broken a little before noon - that was not a fun experience. Shortly after that, I asked for the epidural. The contractions were painful, but just not strong enough. I was so scared about getting an epidural - you know, having a needle stuck in your back is a little scary. It wasn't as awful as I thought it would be, and after the medicine kicked in, I was able to rest. I didn't feel the contractions anymore. I said several times that it's no wonder people get addicted to pain medicine - if that's what it feels like!

The nurse continued to check my progress every 2 hours. I was not progressing the way we had all hoped. At one point, probably around 6:30 or 7, I was dilated to about 7 cm and my nurse made a comment like, "It's not looking very good for a vaginal delivery." I was devastated. And scared. And worried. The last thing I wanted was to have a c-section. Then, the contractions became more painful and were spreading to my back. I was in tears with every contraction and there was nothing they could do for me. Around 8 p.m., my doctor came in and the decision was made to go ahead with a c-section. The baby hadn't "dropped" at all. I wasn't progressing and I was in pain. Everything happened so quickly after the decision was made. I received some more anesthesia, Danny dressed in his scrubs, and before I knew it, we were being rolled to the operating room. There was a moment when Vannah came in to my room and I could tell she had been crying. I know that everyone was trying to be strong for me, but I was scared. Seeing her sweet little face, reddened from crying was so touching and heartbreaking at the same time. She was so worried about me being taken in to surgery. We hugged and I tried to reassure her that everything would be fine, but at the same time, I was scared to death.

Once in the operating room, things moved right along. It was quite an experience - so strange and uncomfortable. I laid there for some time as they "prepared" me for the operation. Once Danny came into the room, I was so excited to see him, but also quite loopy and out of it from the pain medications. The procedure itself was uncomfortable, but thankfully I didn't experience a great deal of pain. As they pulled the baby out, I remember hearing my doctor say "This baby has A LOT of hair!" Then, the moment we had waited all that time for - they told us that we had a baby girl! It was a very sweet, tender moment between Danny and me as we relished in the moment. His excitement was evident from the very second we heard that it was a girl. As they started to clean her off, they called him over and he was able to hold her and be with her - as I laid on the table and was put back together. I remember that he came and showed her to me and I immediately fell in love. This sweet little bundle is all ours - forever.

After the c-section, I was taken to the recovery area and had a few minutes by myself with Sophie. Danny had left to tell our families about our baby girl and I just sat in the recovery area, holding her and loving on her. I was completely overcome with emotions in the moment and just sat there and cried. It was just unreal to me that this little girl belonged to me. That Danny and I created her. What an amazing gift! Several times over the past week, we've looked at each other and said "We must've done something right." She's such a sweet blessing and is just perfect. It was so fun to see our families come into the recovery area and meet Sophie for the first time. As our parents and siblings all came back to meet Sophie, I couldn't help but feel a tinge of sadness, knowing how very excited my dad would have been to meet her. I am sad that she will not ever be able to meet her Gramps, but know that she has a guardian angel watching over her. He would have loved her so very much.

Once we were taken to our room, Sophie was given her first bath and her footprints were taken for the hospital birth certificate. We were all exhausted. In the midst of everything, I started trying to nurse Sophie. We've had some bumps along the way with the nursing, but are now doing pretty well. We stayed in the hospital until Saturday afternoon. We had lots of visitors while we were there. Things went so much more smoothly than I had anticipated in the hospital. For that, I really am grateful!

Now that we are home, we are just trying to figure it all out. We've had lots of visitors since coming home. Friends and family have brought us meals (which has truly been a lifesaver - it's been hard enough to find time to shower, let alone cook a meal!). Sophie is a good eater and a good sleeper! We are really lucky. She slept last night for 5 hours straight! I could hardly believe it! We went to the pediatrician yesterday for her check up. When she was born, she weighed 7 lbs 7 oz. When we left the hospital, she was down to 6 lbs 11.5 oz. Yesterday, at the doctor's office, she was back up to 7 lbs! He was very impressed with her weight! He said that she is just doing great! We couldn't be happier!

I'm healing well from the c-section. I still wish that I didn't have to go through it, but here we are. We have Sophie at home with us and we are both healthy. We couldn't ask for much more! I know the recovery will be difficult. I'm trying to take it easy, but at the same time, I want to be active so that I can heal. Life is all about finding balance, so I'm trying to piece it together - doing just enough, but not too much.